Everything You Know is Wrong:
The Firesign Theatre Trivia Quiz, Part Three

by Richard Arnold

Congratulations go to Patrick Murray, the winner of Part Three of the Quiz! Pat wins his choice of SPARKS! MEDIA audio tapes from our Firesign audio archivist, Michael Packer!

Part Three: Answers from the album

"DON'T CRUSH THAT DWARF, HAND ME THE PLIERS?"

"This Side" (40 points total)

  1. Pot-Buttered Groat Clusters (answer must be exact; alternate spellings allowed) (1)
  2. Hot Dog (will award ½ point if answer is "Food;" will give 1½ points if both answers are given) (1)
  3. Yuciapa Heap (1)
  4. "Cut the soles off my shoes, sit in a tree, and learn to play the flute" (1)
  5. "Powerful gasoline, a clean windshield, and a shoeshine, over" (deduct ½ point if "over" is not included in the answer) (2)
  6. Fred (2)
  7. Mescaline (2)
  8. UTV (2)
  9. New Testament; Jesus; Satan or Peter (will except a specific verse of the New Testament, but only if the verse contains the quote "Get Thee Behind Me;" if a specific verse is given, the third answer must be either Satan or Peter, and must be correct; deduct ½ point if "The Bible" is the first answer) (1 point for source; 1 point for quotation source; 1 point for person to whom quote was spoken; 3 points total) (See Note 1, below)
  10. Nick Danger (3)
  11. Paranoid Pictures (3)
  12. "Marching to Praetoria" (3)
  13. Hymn 1517; 1517 was the year Martin Luther nailed the 95 Theses on the door of the Wittenburg church, and the beginning of the Reformation (will accept any wording of the second part of the answer if, in the opinion of the judge, it conforms to the explanation given here) (2 points for each answer; 4 points total)
  14. "You Bet Your Life;" Groucho Marx (2 points for each answer; 4 points total)
  15. Ralph Bunch (Nobel Peace Prize winner, 1950) and Ida Lupino (actress and director) (will except alternate "claims to fame" if, in the opinion of the judge, the answer demonstrates knowledge of the person) (1 point each for names; 1 point each for their claim to fame; 4 points total)
  16. The Aldrich Family (will also accept "Henry Aldrich") (4)

    "The Other Side" (43 points total, plus 1½ bonus points)

  17. Sgt. Sphincter of the Dirt Patrol (1)
  18. Kill (1)
  19. The Department of Redundancy Department (1)
  20. Since 1400 (deduct ½ point if answer is "2000 years," but add ½ point if "2000 years" and "Since 1400" are in the answer)(1)
  21. "Heya Joe, who-a won-a the Second-a World-a War, you so smart?" (will accept this answer without the attempt to imitate an oriental accent) (2)
  22. "What are we going to do Lieutenant?" and "What do you mean by that?" (1 point for each answer; 2 points total)
  23. Killing pigs ain't kosher (2)
  24. Mrs. Carolyn Preski (2)
  25. Lieutenant Tirebiter, from "Parallel Hell" (deduct 2 points if the specific incarnation of Tirebiter is not identified) (3)
  26. A Mural of the Little Guys; a portrait of Principal Poop, Barbara Bobo's gym shorts; and a Red Hand (will accept any 3 of these) (1 point for each answer; 3 points total)
  27. Groucho Marx (3) (See Note 2, below)
  28. Actually, two lines were broken up this way. "I am changing with the times" (George Tirebiter and Mr. Yarrow) and "I sold out" (Peorgie Tirebiter and Hawaiian Sell Out Host) (will accept either pairs of answers, as long as the characters match the quote) (1 point for first answer; 1 point each for the characters; 3 points total)
  29. Streets in Los Angeles (will also accept Mexican governors of Alta, California; 1 point bonus if both answers are given) (3)
  30. The unoffical mascot of USC athletic teams in the 1940s (4)
  31. "The Skin of Our Teeth;" Thorton Wilder (2 points for title; 2 points for author; 4 points total)
  32. A character in Hopi ritual (will award only 1 point if "Jughead from Archie Comics" is given) (4)
  33. "We'll be Heironymous Bosch in Jest a Minute, but Faust..." (4)

Total points possible for the quiz: 84½

Notes:

1.

The specific New Testament verses are as follows: In Mark 8:33 - Jesus says "Get Thee Behind Me, Satan" to Peter. In Matthew 16:23 Jesus again says it to Peter. But in Luke 4:8, Jesus finally says "Get Thee Behind Me" to Satan himself. If a quiz respondent provided a specific verse, I compared it to the King James Version of the Bible (the only modern version to actually use the exact phrase "Get Thee Behind Me"). If the verse was correct, I gave them credit. However, if they used a specific verse, I held them to correctly identify the specific person to whom Jesus directed the quote. If a respondent gave the more general answer "The New Testament" for the source of the quote, I accepted either Satan or Peter for the third part of the answer. To double-check my sources, I used the Bible Concordance.

2.

I received a wide variety of answers to this one. The man who says "Who's excited?" (which sounds on the record as "Who's essited?") is the same voice who a moment before -- after Poop's radio address -- said "that's the darndest thing I ever heard," a dead give-away for Groucho. Nevertheless, many respondents assumed it was Pico, Alvarado, or one of "all these Mexicans." Given that assumption, a large number or respondents gave Ricky Ricardo and Desi Arnez as their answer. One person -- I can only assume he was being sarcastic or silly -- took a guess and named Ish Kibibble..."

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